I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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