at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize