There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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