Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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