I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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