weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
