dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
im holly from the hills drunk
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
