There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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