plz talk dirty to me
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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