literally had 100 drinks last night.
Fuck appropriateness.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
