he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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