If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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