some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You pole danced in your parka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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