If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think i got beer on your cat.
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