He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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