the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
