if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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