You made me cry and you don't even care
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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