me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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