he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize