Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
