is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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