Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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