I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
