I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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