the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
the day after is always just damage control
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize