Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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