Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
