Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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