Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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