His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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