like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
time to smoke my breakfast
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize