I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Randomize
