If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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