Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
