I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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