TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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