Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
