Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
