Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
