do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
