His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
