So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
