she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
