My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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