You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm sobbing to NWA
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
