If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
