Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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