The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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