Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
