you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We have started to decorate penises.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize