I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Every concussion has its silver lining
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
This is my gift to your gina
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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