i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
