But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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