chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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