All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
