so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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