Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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