I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
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